Tender Mercy

Last week I was thinking a lot about my father-in-law, Clair, and I remembered, more specifically, how much I loved Greg’s talk at his funeral two years ago.  So I asked Kira to send me a copy of it.  Greg is Jason's eldest brother.  His talk is added below:

Clair’s Funeral talk---Greg Blaser given March 13, 2012

Death is a very private and personal event.  It is the process that most of us face with fear, concern & apprehension, however it is the last mortal thing we do upon this earth. 

As with every other phase of life & the gospel we turn to the example of the Savior just prior to his death.  Matt 26:37-40, 45

And he took with him Peter and the two sons at Zebedee and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.

38 - Then saith he unto them, my soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death –tarry ye have here, and watch with me.

39 - And he went a little further and fell on his face and prayed, saying “O my Father if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will but as Thou will.

40 - And he cometh unto the disciples and findeth then asleep, saith unto Peter, what could ye not watch with me one hour.

45- Then cometh he to his disciples and saith unto them, sleep on now and take your rest; behold the hour is at hand.

As I studied this passage of scripture, a couple of things entered my mind. #1- Even with the Saviors request for his disciples to tarry and watch with him, he still had to go through this experience physically by himself.  However, was he alone—absolutely not.  #2 His request that if possible this cup pass from him, however, not his will, but the will of his father. (still provided with his agency)

A week ago dad laid on the bedroom floor for several hours.  I believe this was his preparation time.  Not even close to what the Savior had to endure in the garden, still nonetheless a time for a final preparation.  This was a very personal and private thing for him, while his companion slept and until he was found in the morning.  He was alone in the physical sense; however, he was not alone in the spiritual sense.

In the hospital he mentioned his mother.  I haven’t heard him mention his mother for years.  Dad’s life over the last 20 years had to have been a struggle.  Even though the cancer never returned, he was always in pain.  I believe that as a result of that pain he was difficult to deal with.  Heather made the statement that he ‘suffered in silence’.  He refused to ask for help, he refused to accept help.  He wanted to handle things by himself.

Finally on Friday morning at 9:05 he passed from this mortal existence.  He left his sick, weak body, freed from pain to a better place.  Elder Packer says it best—Mortal death, the penalty justice imposed upon Adam and his posterity, is in fact a mechanism of rescue.  It is the process by which we may return to the presence of God.  Man must be released from mortality lest he live forever in his sins.  Without mortal death, the plan of happiness would not just be disturbed or delayed, it would be destroyed!  Alma was right when he said, Now behold, it was not expedient that man should be reclaimed from his temporal death, for that would destroy the great plan of happiness. (Alma 42:8)

Elder Packer also said –Death is a sacred event, it is a part of life, ‘an essential part’.  It can be a beautiful part.

Pres. Kimball mentioned that he had seen his father that had passed away several years before.  He finally realized that his father had approved of the way Pres. Kimball had lived his life.  I feel that dad had the same experience and that his mother was with him in those last few hours.

Elder Nelson recently said, “It is true, we live to die and die to live.   The only permanent death is spiritual death.”

Why was dad allowed to live these past few years?  I asked myself why—he needed to finish “his story”.  I also believe that perhaps it was the rest of us; a test to see how we would do.

It was an honor for me to tarry with and watch my dad the last few days of his mortal existence.  .

I testify of the Savior.  He was born in humble circumstances, he lived in humble circumstances.  I testify that as he was taught by his earthly parents, he was also taught by his Father in Heaven.  I believe that we too can be taught by our Heavenly Father as we are being taught by our earthly parents, if we are in tune with the spirit.  I testify that he was perfect, yet he was baptized to fulfill all righteousness.  He also was tempted and went through everything that we are and will go through while on this earth.   He organized the true church, he called apostles, he healed, and he taught.  He suffered agonizing pain in Gethsemane.  He died, and after three days rose from the dead and was resurrected.  He lives now.  All of this was for us.  He loves us that much.  I know that my redeemer lives.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

So I read and re-read this talk over the course of a few days.  Sunday, March 23, as we were heading to bed, Jason mentioned that he was thinking about his dad a lot, too, and in particular, was thinking about him on that very day, March 23.  As we turned out the lights and were falling asleep, I remembered:  Today is Clair’s birthday!  What a tender mercy of the Lord to help us be so mindful throughout the week of our dear father, Clair, and then to especially be mindful of him on his actual birthday where he would have turned 91.  He’s been gone two years now.  We are missing him.  I don’t think that ever goes away.  And that’s okay.  Remembering our loved ones is a little private treat we get to have in our own minds and hearts.  I’m grateful that Clair or the Holy Ghost or our loving Savior – whoever it was that helped us remember Clair last week – I’m grateful for that tiny morsel of mercy and thoughtfulness to help us remember Clair and be mindful of his good life and his sure reward, now, in heaven.

My Grandma Eula passed away a few weeks ago, the end of February.  She was a lovely lady and a "most loyal companion" to my Grandpa Barlow the last 20 years of his life.  No doubt she kept him alive and well for much longer than he would’ve had she not been his sweet wife for so long.  I enjoyed our Wednesday visits when we lived in Lehi.  So happy now to have those sweet memories and to remember her as I do: generous, kind, righteous.  So grateful for the good people in my life who have taught me so much, those who have shared their testimonies, those who have remained so valiant until the end.  Remarkable!