Last week I was thinking a lot about my father-in-law,
Clair, and I remembered, more specifically, how much I loved Greg’s talk at his
funeral two years ago. So I asked Kira
to send me a copy of it. Greg is Jason's eldest brother. His talk is added
below:
Clair’s Funeral talk---Greg Blaser given
March 13, 2012
Death is a very private and
personal event. It is the process that most of us face with fear, concern
& apprehension, however it is the last mortal thing we do upon this
earth.
As with every other phase of life
& the gospel we turn to the example of the Savior just prior to his
death. Matt 26:37-40, 45
And he took with him Peter and
the two sons at Zebedee and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.
38 - Then saith he unto them, my
soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death –tarry ye have here, and watch
with me.
39 - And he went a little further
and fell on his face and prayed, saying “O my Father if it be possible, let
this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will but as Thou will.
40 - And he cometh unto the
disciples and findeth then asleep, saith unto Peter, what could ye not watch
with me one hour.
45- Then cometh he to his
disciples and saith unto them, sleep on now and take your rest; behold the hour
is at hand.
As I studied this passage of
scripture, a couple of things entered my mind. #1- Even with the Saviors
request for his disciples to tarry and watch with him, he still had to go
through this experience physically by himself. However, was he
alone—absolutely not. #2 His request that if possible this cup pass
from him, however, not his will, but the will of his father. (still provided
with his agency)
A week ago dad laid on the
bedroom floor for several hours. I believe this was his preparation
time. Not even close to what the Savior had to endure in the garden,
still nonetheless a time for a final preparation. This was a very
personal and private thing for him, while his companion slept and until he was
found in the morning. He was alone in the physical sense; however, he was
not alone in the spiritual sense.
In the hospital he mentioned his
mother. I haven’t heard him mention his mother for years. Dad’s
life over the last 20 years had to have been a struggle. Even though the
cancer never returned, he was always in pain. I believe that as a result
of that pain he was difficult to deal with. Heather made the statement
that he ‘suffered in silence’. He refused to ask for help, he refused to
accept help. He wanted to handle things by himself.
Finally on Friday morning at 9:05 he passed from this mortal
existence. He left his sick, weak body, freed from pain to a better
place. Elder Packer says it best—Mortal death, the penalty justice
imposed upon Adam and his posterity, is in fact a mechanism of rescue. It
is the process by which we may return to the presence of God. Man must be
released from mortality lest he live forever in his sins. Without mortal
death, the plan of happiness would not just be disturbed or delayed, it would
be destroyed! Alma was right when he said, Now behold, it was not
expedient that man should be reclaimed from his temporal death, for that would
destroy the great plan of happiness. (Alma 42:8)
Elder Packer also said –Death is
a sacred event, it is a part of life, ‘an essential part’. It can be a
beautiful part.
Pres. Kimball mentioned that he
had seen his father that had passed away several years before. He finally
realized that his father had approved of the way Pres. Kimball had lived his
life. I feel that dad had the same experience and that his mother was
with him in those last few hours.
Elder Nelson recently said, “It
is true, we live to die and die to live. The only permanent death
is spiritual death.”
Why was dad allowed to live
these past few years? I asked myself why—he needed to finish “his
story”. I also believe that perhaps it was the rest of us; a test to see
how we would do.
It was an honor for me to tarry
with and watch my dad the last few days of his mortal existence. .
I testify of the Savior. He
was born in humble circumstances, he lived in humble circumstances. I
testify that as he was taught by his earthly parents, he was also taught by his
Father in Heaven. I believe that we too can be taught by our Heavenly
Father as we are being taught by our earthly parents, if we are in tune with
the spirit. I testify that he was perfect, yet he was baptized to fulfill
all righteousness. He also was tempted and went through everything that
we are and will go through while on this earth. He organized the
true church, he called apostles, he healed, and he taught. He suffered
agonizing pain in Gethsemane. He died, and after three days rose from the
dead and was resurrected. He lives now. All of this was for
us. He loves us that much. I know that my redeemer lives. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
So I read and re-read this talk over the course of a few
days. Sunday, March 23, as we were
heading to bed, Jason mentioned that he was thinking about his dad a lot, too,
and in particular, was thinking about him on that very day, March 23. As we turned out the lights and were falling asleep,
I remembered: Today is Clair’s
birthday! What a tender mercy of the
Lord to help us be so mindful throughout the week of our dear father, Clair,
and then to especially be mindful of him on his actual birthday where he would
have turned 91. He’s been gone two years
now. We are missing him. I don’t think that ever goes away. And that’s okay. Remembering our loved ones is a little
private treat we get to have in our own minds and hearts. I’m grateful that Clair or the Holy Ghost or
our loving Savior – whoever it was that helped us remember Clair last week –
I’m grateful for that tiny morsel of mercy and thoughtfulness to help us
remember Clair and be mindful of his good life and his sure reward, now, in
heaven.
My Grandma Eula passed away a few weeks ago, the end of
February. She was a lovely lady and a
"most loyal companion" to my Grandpa Barlow the last 20 years of his life. No doubt she kept him alive and well for much
longer than he would’ve had she not been his sweet wife for so long. I enjoyed our Wednesday visits when we lived
in Lehi. So happy now to have those
sweet memories and to remember her as I do: generous, kind, righteous. So grateful for the good people in my life
who have taught me so much, those who have shared their testimonies, those who
have remained so valiant until the end.
Remarkable!
